I made a neofetch-like-but-not-really tool written in bash.
I wanted something that printed out like a paper report from one of those 60's mainframes, so I wrote one myself.
It's called sysreport, and features ASCII art text of the distro name with FIGlet, a MOTD with fortune/fortune-mod, support for the number of packages (compatible with most major linux package managers), and Hardware and User report sections, for all your vanity needs, and it's permissively licensed under the Apache License version 2.0.
I would like some help with adding more obscure package managers to the package number section, so if you use any them, feel free to make an issue (or pr) on the repo so I can add it.
Anyway, if you'd like to try it out, head over to the github repo here.